Noticing the African Violets

Sorry for the angry last post. Sometimes I get frustrated.

Photos: going to see stand-up comedy at the Bridge Street Cafe with Lisa, Jake and some others (Lisa used her orgasmic camera to film the performance for one of the comedians),
Liz's house with Mike (he's trying to reflect light into my camera), The beach yesterday with Jarrett, Jen, Mike and Brennan, and a BBQ/ house party with a whole bunch of people, a lot whom I haven't seen In quite some time.











Last night I wrote down things that may or may not (probably may not) be useful in writing in the future:

"even when there's no music, there's music"

"What we need is more people/ with flowers in their hair/ organic matter blowing everywhere/ and more people on holiday (write it!) can you/ even remember it?"

"they give me a reason to detach myself - to be myself" (< refering to cigarette a couple hours before I gave my pack to Brennan and said I'm quitting forever. "Becca, I find that hard to believe."

"The sign on the toilet said: close the door, cat will die FOREVER"

"First/ go with your first instinct/ (if it doesn't work, try again)"

"until they stop thinking of it/ as a wound/ (it's not a fucking hairy hatchet hole - it's my fucking/vagina, fucker.)/ Things will never change"

I lost my new notebook with other stuff. Chances all it was shit anyways. (I know there was one thing about how people only put mirrors in private places like bedrooms and bathrooms because it's considered a negative personality trait (vanity) to like looking at yourself in the mirror. But the truth is, we'd all just stand around staring at ourselves all day if we could. It's like trying to figure out the (seemingly) most important puzzle in the world - trying to be able to read yourself and see who you are.)

In other news:
My parents/NH/drinking and drugs/people/ laziness is beginning to depress me again. I was starting to like it here, but now it's driving me away again.

I'm reading "The Haveli" for India. So interesting - Sucks to be a woman in traditional India. Your life revolves around a family/home community - it must make the world very very small. It's like they are indoor cats.

I need to work on the stuff for David - and send it to him, or wrap it all pretty and give it to him on Wednesday.

When I start working at the paper again, I think this might turn into a "behind the news/ newsroom spy type of thing."